Miss Mickey does LA: DISNEYLAND!

For some reason, the last couple of years have been the years of Disney for me. I've been nicknamed Mickey Mouse (hence Miss Mickey) for as long as I can remember, but my interest in the Disney franchise waned somewhere around Finding Nemo (I think it was the *new* animation style) and didn't really pick up again until I decided to cosplay Ariel last year.

With my Disney obsession now currently back to the level it was at when I was about five, I thought this was definitely the right time for me to finally visit the happiest place on earth, and I scheduled two and a half days at Disneyland on my way home from Boston last month.

I planned my outfits for months and found I actually had enough Disneybounding ideas and pieces to do about two solid weeks at the park. So I settled on having one Cinderella day and one Ariel day, with a second Ariel outfit (shorts) just in case I decided to change.

On my first day in LA, I was by myself and arrived in the middle of the day. I didn't have park tickets for the afternoon (in hindsight, I wish I'd bought one), so I just headed to Downtown Disney to do a little shopping, have lunch and work out the lay of the land. It was hot. Baking hot. So I only lasted a couple of hours before I had to go back to the hotel for a shower and a rest.

Lego Hulk and a barefaced Mickey

On day two, my friend wasn't getting in until midday, so I had a bit of a sleep in, and took my time doing my hair and getting organised. Even going slowly, I was ready about two hours before she arrived, which meant I was bouncing off the wall when she finally got there! 

My outfit for day one was a Cinderella Disneybound. I wore a blue vintage dress with the Cinderella accessories Miss Maestro Designs made for my Miss Bombshell outfit. I was suprised that I made it all day, in the blazing heat, in my not very breathable vintage dress, but I did and I'm so happy I dressed up. So many people, from the ones who take your tickets at the gate, to the ticket operators and then the princesses themselves commented on it and made me feel really special. 

OMG I'm in Disneyland!

When I met Cinderella (she was first in the princesses' hall), she called me her twin and I nearly cried with happiness. It's funny, but even as a cosplayer myself, knowing that it was just a girl dressed in a pretty gown and a wig, I couldn't think of her as anything but a real princess. There's just something about the magic of the place that makes it all seem real! 

My twin! 

After the princesses, we wandered for a bit, went on a couple of rides and then went to see my namesake, Mickey Mouse. 

He was pretty excited when I told him my name is also Mickey; he kissed my hand, hugged me, then danced with me! I have a big grin on my face in all the pictures, because it was all just so unexpected and fun. It didn't matter that I was a grown up in line to meet someone dressed like a mouse, they just treated everyone the same, and I'm sure it was just as magic for me as it was for the little people at the park. 

On day two, we got up early and went straight to California Adventure where we were booked to have breakfast with Ariel. I'd decided against wearing my rockabilly Ariel outfit because it was just too hot for a full petticoat, and instead, went for my cool and comfy Black Milk Clothing Ariel Vs. Ursula Inside Out Dress. This too got a lot of compliments from both Disney staff and other people at the park. Lots of people asked me where it came from, and even though BM is in LA now, it kind of made me proud to say it was made by an Australian clothing label. 

Once you check in at Ariel's Grotto, you queue down a staircase, waiting to get in. We'd been in the queue for about five minutes when I realised that Ariel was at the bottom of the stairs having photos and greeting people as they arrived and that's when I started jumping. "She's there!" 

As with Cinderella, Ariel was really interested in my dress. She made me twirl for her, and then said she'd love to get one so we could be 'Princess Twinsies' (I didn't tell her Ursula was on the other side!). When she saw my phone that my friend was busily taking pictures with, and realised the case had Ariel on it too, she got all excited: 'My face is on your doo-dad too?!' and then hugged me. And it was a really nice, genuine hug too. 

A whole bunch of other princesses came out during breakfast too, which made me really glad I'd booked a character meal. It saved a lot of time running around looking for princesses.

We did so much in our two days at the park, but the highlights were definitely meeting Cinderella and Ariel. There was a lot we didn't have time for; like riding the rollercoasters because the lines were too long, seeing Thor (I did see Captain America, but I was really sad I missed Thor), and eating in more of the restaurants. But I'm okay with that because it gives me new things to see and do the next time I go back. And yes, there will definitely be a next time! 

Why the Cinderella dress matters

If you follow me on social media, you’ll probably know I’ve been trying to win a Cinderella dress from Cosplay Sky. There are still days until the competition closes, but I’ve already pretty much seen my ship sail on winning it.

I’ve got lots of feelings about this competition. Most of them are positive. Firstly, there was delirious excitement when, only a few hours after I posted about my entry, I was roaring up the ladder and into second place. Then there was how fun it was when, in a desperate bid to hold onto that second place, my Mum and I worked on our Facebook friend lists for hours one night, and saw my likes going up and up and up. The most overwhelming thing was how positive and supportive people were. No one laughed at me, no one thought it was stupid that I was a grown lady trying to win a Disney Princess costume, they just voted and shared where they could.

When I went to bed the night I was coming second, it was with a big smile on my face and dreams of this moment:

It was short lived though as I lost the lead not so long after I woke up the next morning.

I just don’t have the networks to win a competition based on likes. And that’s okay, I’m okay with my position in the social networking front. What I want to tell you about is why that dress mattered to me so much. And why, even now I know there’s no way I’ll win it, I still can’t quite admit it and give up.

What I really wanted when I entered the competition was to be the best at something. I wanted to be a winner; achieve what I’d set out to achieve.

See, I do a lot of things; pinup, cosplay, writing, working and volunteering, mentoring, I sing a little, I take French lessons… it’s a huge list. And here’s the thing: I am good at all of those things. Good, but not great. I’m competent but not excellent.

In every single one of those pursuits, I put myself out there and most of the time, have a great time, enjoy myself and achieve things. I love doing all those things, or else I'd stop. But more often than not, even when I’ve had fun, I walk away with a feeling of deep disappointment blooming in my belly. I feel like an outsider; not quite a part of things and not quite good enough.

And then Cinderella came along.

From the day I first saw that Cinderella movie poster, I wanted that blue dress be one of my cosplays. But after experimenting with making a simple tulle skirt for another project, I realised that making anything that came anywhere near resembling that dress was not going to come from my sewing machine while I was driving it. Not in the next year or so, while the costume is still relevant at least.

So then I saw the Cosplay Sky contest and thought, “hey, I could win this.”

In the beginning, it was just a dress. But when the other girls in the competition hit 400 likes, then 800 and now well over a thousand, the stupid dress became a metaphor for every other thing I’ve missed out on or not been quite good enough for; promotions at work, my book being published, placing in a pageant, being chosen in a group… 

I’ve been trying to hold onto how awesome it felt in the beginning, when I got up to second place for those few fleeting hours. But I can’t help but feel bitterly disappointed, like one of my happily ever afters got pinched by a few thousand clicks of the mouse in the same way being told your work is good, but not good enough; your performance was excellent and you just missed out by a little; you’re smart, but not as smart as that girl over there…

And that, my friends, is the sad and sorry reason why that silly blue fairy tale dress mattered to me.